As a child I let the voice of the society get to me, it was eating my mind up. I used to believe that the opinion of the society is important.
That was until I turned 16.
When I turned 16, I finally woke up from the nightmare that lasted long for 15 years. Since then it felt like I was free from the stone hard chains clawed on my wrist.
During those years, I wished to have a boyfriend, to be a famous person, to have a lot of friends and clothes and money. Yeah, I admit that I was greedy, I craved the attention of the people around me. But that was all in the past.
Should I let myself get drown again over the voices of the society? Should I follow them? Should I let society
The answer is No.
I don’t want to live that kind of life any longer. I was finally free, so why would I let myself be in cage by them again?
What’s the point of setting yourself free away from them, if you were to comeback?
To me, at this point of age, I’ve finally realized the ugly truth.
What matters to me the most now is my parents, siblings, the little circle of friends I have and the dream I’ve been chasing for 9 years. It’s okay if I won’t be able to give the pleasure the society is expecting as long as I meet the expectations of the people that adds up a definition to my very existence then that’s enough.
or the afternoon?
Which one do you prefer?
In my own preference, Night is far more beautiful than the morning or the afternoon. Isn’t it nice how dazzling the moon is at night? Like it is telling us, that even in our darkest times, we could still shine as bright as the moon and so is the little tiny planets and stars with their own little lights. Morning might be longer than the night, but during the hours of the darkness there comes the deep and long conversations, unwanted thoughts, reflections and some hints of flashbacks and regrets. It’s beautiful, in short period of time everyday, it never fails to amaze us through it’s brightness and the hidden memories underneath the moonlight everyone is having.
Not every beautiful things in this world could be seen in the light.
Falling in love; no one had felt this feeling. We fall in love with things, memories, animals and people. It might be the easiest thing to do but the truth is it isn’t.
Love comes with a package of sacrifices and responsibilities. In addition, of course, Love is no joke.
I don’t even know why people make a fool of this harmonious feeling.
Right person, Wrong time? Neh. We say those kind of words to give ourselves a pinch of hope, that someday they might comeback. We should stop forcing ourselves into those kind of deal some people should stop mixing up ‘infatuation’ with ‘love’ don’t you think so?
We do have our ideals like for example, we would like our partner to be a good looking person and has a wealthy background. But we never have any guarantee if our partner is like as what we dream about.
Love is about loving each other, no matter who she or he is. It doesn’t have a 100 meter tall wall to keep ourselves away from this feeling right? We couldn’t help ourselves but fall in love with people, and for some, with temporary people.
Once again, Falling in love is easy but staying in love is the real deal.
We never know if something big like infinity does exist. Well, for me, I do believe in infinities. Our souls, shared memories and words will always exist in that particular infinity.
Infinity means endless, and that’s that. Our life isn’t endless but our soul will grow older and older. It continuously search for another physical body, that is worth to live for the rest of our soul’s breathing life.
The Sixteen Years of experience living in this ‘world’ was worth of thousands of mixed feelings, millions of wrong decisions but it was a great lesson and billions of memories. I know that this life of mine will eventually end, not now or tomorrow or the following day.
Soon, I’ll be Seventeen and I won’t talk about it since it’s a different story.
It’s been sixteen years of struggling to keep myself from drowning from the deepest misery of all times which is we called ‘insecurities and negativity’ and guess what. I’m still alive and not barely breathing. I am literally breathing even after what I’ve gone through.
This life, my life, I don’t regret it. All the unexpected happenings, daily struggles from minor to major is what keeping my life in check.
So, here’s to many more years to struggle.
p.s. I don’t want to keep this long. Quite annoying haha.